"My Knower"

"Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts:
 and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom."
Psalm 51:6

Let me know thee, O my Knower; let me know Thee even as I am known.
O Strength of my soul, enter it and prepare it for Thyself
    that Thou mayest have and hold it, without "spot or blemish."
This is my hope, therefore have I spoken;
and in this hope I rejoice whenever I rejoice aright.
But as for the other things of this life, they deserve our lamentations less, 
the more we lament them; and some should be lamented all the more, 
the less men care for them.
For see, "Thou desirest truth" and 
"he who does the truth comes to the light."
This is what I wish to do through confession in my heart before Thee,
    and in my writings before many witnesses.
And what is there in me that could be hidden from Thee, Lord,
    to whose eyes the abysses of man's conscience are naked,
    even if I were unwilling to confess it to Thee?
In doing so I would only hide Thee from myself, not myself from Thee.
But now that my groaning is witness to the fact 
that I am dissatisfied with myself,
    Thou shinest forth and satisfiest.
Thou art beloved and desired; so that I blush for myself,
    and renounce myself and choose Thee,
    for I can neither please Thee nor myself except in Thee.
To Thee, then, O Lord, I am laid bare, whatever I am,
    and I have already said with what profit I may confess to Thee.
I do not do it with words and sounds of the flesh 
but with the words of the soul,
    and with the sound of my thoughts, which Thy ear knows.
For when I am wicked, to confess to Thee means nothing less
    than to be dissatisfied with myself;
    but when I am truly devout, it means nothing less
    than not to attribute my virtue to myself;
    because Thou, O Lord, blessest the righteous,
        but first Thou justifiest him while he is yet ungodly.
My confession therefore, O my God,
    is made unto Thee silently in Thy sight --and yet not silently.
As far as sound is concerned, it is silent.
    But in strong affection it cries aloud.
For neither do I give voice to something that sounds right to men,
    which Thou hast not heard from me before,
    nor dost Thou hear anything of the kind from me
        which Thou didst not first say to me.

Saint Augustine (354–430).