September 2002

A recent movie entitled "What Women Really Want" tells the story of a self-seeking playboy who thinks he knows what women want until an electrical accident empowers him to hear what women really think and want. This is a life-changing, heart-changing experience for him and what he thought he wanted was just a cover-up for what he really wanted in his heart, a true love in a real relationship to share his life with.

Today, women run to and fro seeking relationships or things or looking for that someone or something that will satisfy their life. Many "think" they know what they want and sometimes when they "get" what they want, the find it is not what they wanted after all. Many times it ends in heartbreak for them and others. A personal peak into their hearts would reveal that deep down inside there is a God-given desire for those things that God plants within each one of his creatures -- a desire to be loved with Christ-like love.

As Christian women, we do not need to be struck by lightning or have an accident to understand what we want. Our God has given us this knowledge in our hearts and minds, and He has given us His Word to instruct us how to live as women who really know what they want.

First and foremost, they want to be loved. They want to be loved sacrificially, honestly, completely and unconditionally. They want to be loved with the Christ-like love described in Ephesians 5:26-28:

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself."

Secondly, they want to be nurtured, led with strength, and patiently guided. They want their husbands to be their Boaz, that near-kinsman, who they love, trust and whom they can rely on. They want him to be that "man of the Book" that God intends him to be; that Scriptural example of "priest" of the home, "administrator" of the family, teacher of good things, their spiritual leader, their "protector" and "stronghold" in the battle of life.

Thirdly, they want a gentle hand, an understanding heart, a listening ear, forgiveness when they fail, a kindness and thankfulness of spirit and a soft rebuke when they have strayed from God's path. They want that gentle, loving leader that God has called their husbands to be -- one that "guides" them well and who helps and empowers them in their calling to be that submitted godly wife who brings glory to God and "praise at the gates."

Fourthly, they want an attentive lover. One that displays his love in intimacy - a special look, a sought-after hand, a gentle touch, a quiet shared moment, a giving and pleasing spirit. They want that "oneness" of closeness as pictured so beautifully in Genesis 2:24 "and they shall be one flesh" and the loving relationship between man and woman so awesomely displayed in the Song of Songs.

Lastly, and most importantly, they want a Christ-centered man. One that loves Christ more than life itself and whose life reflects a heart filled with the joy of his salvation and a desire to serve Christ with his whole being. They know if he is this Christ-centered man, his heart will desire all of the things "wanted" above because they are the things that God has prescribed in His Word for man and woman in the marriage relationship.

So now this begs the question, "what do men really want"?

As we examine the things that women want, we see that many of these our husbands desire as well. They want to be loved, they want kindness, gentleness, a quiet shared moment, a "one-flesh" relationship, a giving and pleasing intimacy, an understanding heart, a listening ear, a submissive and thankful spirit, and a wife who loves Christ with all her heart, mind and soul.

At the end of their story, the man and woman in the movie found love was the most important relationship and that their wants and desires were the same. We, as Christian women, want what God wants, and we find that those things that women and men really want in their heart of hearts are the same. It is derived from God's Word -- a "loving" gift planted in our hearts by God Himself. He has given this to us as a picture of His relationship with us, His Bride, so that we can live a life of loving obedience in the beauty of biblical love in our relationship one with another.

So now I ask the question of you: Is this what you as a Christian woman, really want? I think so and if you find you are doubtful, look into God's Word and He will surely direct your path to "want" what "He" wants and "His want" will most assuredly become "yours."

"Thou that dwellest in the gardens,
thy companions hearken to thy voice: cause me to hear it."
Song of Solomon 8:13

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